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Rank: Administration
Groups: Administration
Joined: 8/21/2007
Posts: 220
Points: 537
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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MJ & Farrah Fawcett - RIP.
Doesn't take long for the jokes to appear. Haven't received any Farrah Fawcett jokes yet though - or any MJ/FF combo jokes.
It's quite sad really, I'm sure there's just one person who lives somewhere in the middle of woop woop ("woop woop" is Australian for "nowhere") making these up and sending them out every time someone famous dies. If you come across any more, feel free to post them here.
"Promoters have just confirmed that they have canceled all of Michael Jackson's upcoming dates. They were James (aged 9), Neil (aged 7) and Thomas (aged 11)."
"Confirmation just came through that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning, apparently he ate some 12 year old nuts"
"Hospital staff were originally worried about what to do with Michael Jackson's body - especially since plastic recycling was collected yesterday. But the Jackson family has requested that he be melted down and turned into toys so kids can play with him for a change!"
"Michael Jackson passed away this morning from a massive heart attack. Authorities have released a statement saying that they will melt his body down and make plastic toys so kids can play with him for a change!!!!"
"The reports about Michael Jackson having a cardiac arrest are incorrect. He actually went to visit the children's hospital and had a stroke…….."
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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Just remember... Frank started it!
boy- mommy, is god black or white?
mother- god is both black and white
boy- mommy, is god a boy or a girl?
mother- god is both a boy and a girl
boy- mommy, is god straight or gay?
mother- god is both straight and gay
boy- mommy, is god michael jackson?
Q. MJ's favorite college?
A. Brigham Young
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play
with and the other you carry your groceries in !!
Q. Did u hear about the Michal Jackson burger at McD's??
A. Its a 50 year old piece of meat between two 12 year old buns..
Q. What did the mother say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
A. Please get out of my son.
Q. What does Michael Jackson like best about 24 year olds?
A. There's 20 of 'em.
Q: Where does Michael Jackson shop?
A: Wal-Mart, boys pants half-off.
Q. What time is bedtime at the neverland ranch?
A. When the big hand touched the little hand
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/24/2009
Posts: 17
Points: -46
Location: Belfast
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Lol! Here's my offering:
I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
Richard Pryor got burnt on coke. Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
One is pale and scares kids. The other is a friendly ghost.
michael jackson did manage to whisper his last words to the paramedics; "put me on the children's ward"
When Farrah Fawsett arrived at heaven and God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe.
So God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael got to heaven. Elvis saw him and whispered in St. Peter's ear. St. Pete told MJ at the pearly gates. "Beat it. Just beat
it."
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/24/2009
Posts: 17
Points: -46
Location: Belfast
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Rank: Administration
Groups: Administration
Joined: 8/21/2007
Posts: 220
Points: 537
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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This one made me groan...
The pop giant was pronounced dead by doctors after arriving at UCLA hospital in Los Angeles in a deep coma, city and law enforcement sources reportedly told The LA Times.Jackson, 50, suffered a cardiac arrest just after 12.00pm local time (19.00pm GMT) and paramedics were unable to revive him a cardiologist told entertainment website TMZ.com.
I wonder what caused it? Will they blame it on the
sunshine? The moonlight? The good times? Or as we all suspect, was it the boogie?
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/24/2009
Posts: 17
Points: -46
Location: Belfast
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FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house... They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/26/2009
Posts: 1
Points: 3
Location: Liverpool
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Urgent RSPCA Announcement:
Good home wanted for an abandoned monky.
Very friendly. Likes being wanked off with a white glove.
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 3/3/2009
Posts: 4
Points: 12
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
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THIS JUST IN!
Autopsy results confirmed what some medical professionals have always suspected. MJ's system contained a lethal amount of Clorox!
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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Michael Jackson wants to be buried at sea, preferably attached to two
buoys.
It is rumored that Elton John will be playing at Michael's funeral - He'll
be performing "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
Jockeys this weekend will wear black armbands in remembrance of MJ,
who has successfully ridden more 3 year olds than anyone else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Q: Who was the greater influence in your life, Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett?
A: Farrah Fawcett, because I never beat it to Michael Jackson.
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 9/4/2007
Posts: 29
Points: -10
Location: Londonderry
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What do the Australian cricket team and Latoya Jackson have in common ?
They’ll both be taking the ashes home this summer.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. When she got there God said to
her “You have one wish” As she thought about it, she realized that here
in heaven she lacked nothing, so she said to God: “I just want all of the
children on earth to be safe.”
Micheal Jackson died and went to heaven. When he got there God said to
him “You have one wish” He thought about it and decided that money was
his downfall, so he said to God: “I just want all the people on earth to stop
wasting money.”
Billy Mays died and went to heaven…..
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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You know how they say celebrities die in threes?
Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
(Limited time only!)
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 9/4/2007
Posts: 29
Points: -10
Location: Londonderry
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Jacko meets Elvis in heaven and introduces himself saying, I married your daughter.
Elvis replies, Thank FUCK for that, I got told she married a black man.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: Administration
Joined: 8/21/2007
Posts: 220
Points: 537
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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What do Michael Jackson and Air France have in common?
Neverland.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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frank wrote:What do Michael Jackson and Air France have in common?
Neverland.
Is Michael haunting Neverland? http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25739531-5019114,00.html
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/25/2008
Posts: 514
Points: 957
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
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What are Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Fawcett getting for Christmas? Patrick Swayze. Recent photo of Patrick Swayze.
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