Pat said so! -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZmxMlSTETo
Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the thing up.
Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"
Paddy was driving home, the worse for wear, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road.
Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
Cop says "For pete’s sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!"
An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy" he replies.
Two Irish friends leave the pub. One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all the way home.'
'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home.'
'We could steal a bus from the depot.' replies his mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look- out.
After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, 'What are you doing? Have you not found one yet?'
'I can't find a No. 91'
'Oh Jeysus, ye tick sod, take the No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.
